Friday, February 10, 2012

You're So Vain; You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

I’m usually the internalising type.  I don’t like to talk about myself, mostly because I think no one cares.  But that word, ‘cares’ is really ambiguous.  People say they care about one another all the time, but it is just lip service.  You know it, I know it, my stuffed Charmander knows it.  But I have been struggling with those low moments, you know the ones, like that episode of Simpsons where Lisa feels depressed and is sad.  It’s a cute episode where Marge tries to get her to put a fake smile on and realises that it flies in the face of Lisa’s sadness.

I don’t have anything to be sad about.  Not really.  I mean, I could list all the things I have in my life, not least of which are a job, multiple degrees and a home, but I still feel unsatisfied, unappreciated, ignored and dismissed at times.  We all get that way, life gets overwhelming, stress mounts, things around you go in the opposite direction you’d like.

It seems petty, even as I type it, it seems petty, but that doesn’t make those feelings any less real, does it?  No, of course not.  And I want to look around and point fingers at everyone else who’s annoying me, or as I say when I’m driving, getting in my way. 

But it isn’t anyone else’s fault that they make me feel bad.  A great example that we can all latch onto is the general rudeness that pervades our society.  People will say and do things and won’t think about the effect those words have.  In the written form I’m much less careful then when I say things out loud.  I also have the wonderful knack of making everything sound like a joke, so there is a good chance I can side-step a major pitfall just by smiling.

Even on this site I see people being completely thoughtless and utterly self-involved.  And my response to that is a smile and a laugh.  I mean, come on now, this is a video gaming site: contemplate getting over yourself.  Or, try this one on for size, we all have a lot to deal with, so instead of wallowing in your own pity parade, look around you, you may notice something.

Today I had lunch with a friend of mine who was treated unfairly at work.  And when I say unfairly, I mean, she had to take a demotion, pay cut and transfer to keep her job basically because someone didn’t like the way she did things.  Was she violating any rules?  No.  Was she being inappropriate?  No.

She was handling the situation, a rather unfortunate situation, with a great deal of poise.  It is rare to see someone literally be given lemons and make lemonade.  I know, I think that saying is stupid too, because you literally can’t just convert lemons into lemonade, other ingredients are required.  Plus, I’m perpetually on a diet, so how would you make real lemons into a diet version of lemonade. 

I may have lost the point of this blog before it began, but the sad feelings I had dissipated ever so slightly when I saw someone else in greater distress.  This won’t replace how I feel when people are rude, arrogant or controlling, as most people are in my life, but it gives me a way to cope.  And what’s so odd about it is the person who needed the help, to me, wasn’t me at all, but someone else, but by being around someone who was in worse shape, and me being supportive of that person, that person was supportive of me, without realising it.

And isn’t that what being in the world is all about?  We can put blinders on and focus on ourselves, as most of my family seems to do, or you can stop and see everything around you, as it really is, and realise you’re a part of it, but not the central part.  Being self-involved can be easier at times, but I find it costly as well.  Instead of being melodramatic and narcissistic, why don’t we all try, just once, to shut up and help someone else instead of griping and complaining about your life and your psyche.  You may feel bad, but I am sure someone else feels worse.  Be the bigger person and support someone else and you may be rewarded for your efforts.

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