Movie Review: The Man With the Iron Fists

Normally I don’t go in for movies that have questionable plots from the trailers alone, but my friend is a Tarantino fan, so we decided to give it $6 and an hour and a half, neither of which will I ever get back.  I’ll do my best to summarise, but basically, the story follows the local blacksmith who outfits local gangs with weapons, hoping to free his whore girlfriend so they can be together.  Stars Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu make curious appearances in this weak, nonsensical story.  The blacksmith creates many different weapons, doing his best to avoid the brewing conflict.  The governor of the district sends a shipment of gold through their village and everything unravels.

What progresses after this is drivel, at best.  Rza as the leading actor is weak, his intonation and cadence unbearable and unbelievable throughout.  Despite having A-list stars in the cast, the story can’t be helped by their presence and the absurdity of this compounds with over-the-top action sequences that even the Kung Fu movies it is mimicking might shudder to see.  There is no saving grace for this movie and no reason to torture yourself unless you have a few hours to kill.  As I walked out of the theatre, there was a man sitting in the front section of the theatre who had fallen asleep.  That says it all.